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BRAND-SPANKING-NEW 3/21/2015

 

YOU GUYZ!! I am incredibly excited to launch my brand-spanking-new website!! After so many hours of designing, coding, writing and countless nights crying... even though that had nothing to do with working on my website... It is finally here! And you are here!! Which means that it is live and I am not just writing this addressing a phantom audience...


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  INSTAGRAM:



 
 
HONORABLE MENTION 1/15/2015

 

About two years ago I inherited some of my father's motocross trophy collection, objects that I remember living with and seeing almost every day of my life for as long as I can remember. Many of them come with memories of traveling through Mexico and physically being there for the competitions and award ceremonies in which my father obtained these.


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CUADRO: PROJECT 9/02/2014

 
cuadro

A few months ago I was approached to discuss a new and very exciting project in Downtown El Paso; living in Los Angeles and fresh out of the MFA Art program at CalArts I was working on creating a stronger connection between my new life as a self proclaimed Angelino and maintaining a strong connection with my El Paso community and family.


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NEWS:

LOOK, SEE, HEAR, LISTEN @ RUBIN CENTER
5/8/15 - 7/18/15

THE BUCKET @ GRICE BENCH
1/9/15 - 1/17/15


MOTION TRACKING@ CIRRUS GALLERY
6/21/14 - 7/12/14

LAST LAP@ CALARTS
3/3/14 - 3/8/14



   


 
 
G-RAD-U/I-ATION 6/29/2014

 
graduation-radiation

I am holding a diploma in my hands, unlike the root of the word diploma this is not a folded paper and neither did an educational institution give it to me. UCLA Health gave it to me. They gave it to me because I have in a sense graduated from my radiation therapy. Unlike walking on a stage to shake hands with my faculty and wave at thousands of people like I did at my CalArts graduation less than a month ago...

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LAST LAP 3/10/2014

 
last lap

AHHHHHH! My thesis show is over… I've crossed the finish line (Well not quite I guess… I still have to graduate). However, I have completed, presented, defended, performed, installed, de-installed my thesis exhibition and I could be happier. I am incredibly happy because the show was for me, it was for my father and it was a show that encompassed all my beliefs and my interests as an artist. It was something that I was truly invested in, emotionally and intellectually...

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all work © 2015 by Andres Payan // Design by Unknown Creative    
BRAND-SPANKING-NEW 3/21/2015

 
brand-new YOU GUYZ!! I am incredibly excited to launch my brand-spanking-new website!! After so many hours of designing, coding, writing and countless nights crying... even though that had nothing to do with working on my website... It is finally here! And you are here!! Which means that it is live and I am not just writing this addressing a phantom audience...

Aside from the fancy, elegant and super fine new design brought to you by yours truly, I am happy to share all the work and all that I have been up to in past few years. Make sure to check out my fancy new *Current * page where I will be posting some of my most recent news, have a fancy instagram feed and links to any shows that I am in or have been in recently. There are a lot of new projects that I will be working on during the summer and hope to share them all with you! On the meantime please enjoy the rest of your navigation through this interwebz space dedicated to all my work. Feel free to send me a message! Comment on anything you find interesting or-what-not on my site and of course, share with your friends, family, pets and momma.

XOXO
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HONORABLE MENTION 1/15/2015

 
ribbons About two years ago I inherited some of my father's motocross trophy collection, objects that I remember living with and seeing almost every day of my life for as long as I can remember. Many of them come with memories of traveling through Mexico and physically being there for the competitions and award ceremonies in which my father obtained these.

How does value and memory in an object change when it changes ownership? I don't suppose much of the original sentimental value is passed on with the object. These questions made me begin a completely different collection, one that I could call my own. So I began searching for award ribbons, purchasing them in fleet markets, ebay, and etsy and soon I had a whooping 500+ awards. From all over the country and some even international, ranging from Rabbit Breading to Flower Bouquet competitions and spanning more than 115 years.

In a way I see this collection as an extrapolation of my own goals and victories, a bizarre reflection and insight into a part of the relationship I had with my father. It also becomes a representation of a constant struggle to meet expectations, for my father, my family or society in general. Through investing energy and time in obtaining markers of success there is a feeling of perhaps compensating, or over compensating during a time that I wanted to deflect attention from my sexuality and create a sense of self-worth. Now all these ribbons are simply that… Ribbons ,meaningless objects being collected to be part of a mass that to me holds no emotional value. At least not the kind of emotional value that I have assigned to objects that are truly meaningful to me, which allow me to access grandiose memories of my time with my father.
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CUADRO: PROJECT 9/02/2014

 
cuadro A few months ago I was approached to discuss a new and very exciting project in Downtown El Paso; living in Los Angeles and fresh out of the MFA Art program at CalArts I was working on creating a stronger connection between my new life as a self proclaimed Angelino and maintaining a strong connection with my El Paso community and family. The project proposed an ideal situation where I would live in El Paso for the rest of the fall while allowing me to travel back to LA periodically. Not to mention the amazing possibility to meet a new set of incredible people who I would be working with.

This project eventually grew to become CUADRO, a project that I have been working on alongside some amazing people from LA-Machine Project and the Rubin Center for the Visual Arts at the University of Texas at El Paso. Made possible with the generous support from the City of El Paso Museum and Cultural Affairs Department, the El Paso Community Foundation and The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts. During the next months CUADRO will aim to serve as a catalyst for developing artist-led projects and engaging new and diverse publics, featuring a series of events by artists from Machine Project and local artists, which will include workshops, exhibitions, performances and other participatory works. Allowing us to promote networks between local professionals, student artists and visiting practitioners by building a dynamic and experimental platform for different models of artistic practices.

Today I am quite excited and happy, to personally invite CUADRO, to invite you to get involved and get to know what we are working on!
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G-RAD-U/I-ATION 6/29/2014

 
last-treatment I am holding a diploma in my hands, unlike the root of the word diploma this is not a folded paper and neither did an educational institution give it to me. UCLA Health gave it to me. They gave it to me because I have in a sense graduated from my radiation therapy. Unlike walking on a stage to shake hands with my faculty and wave at thousands of people like I did at my CalArts graduation less than a month ago... This was less eventful, but fell equally rewarding. And I don’t use the word rewarding very often. Rewarding.

I walked through the sliding doors and left the hospital. I tried grabbing my diploma with the least amount of fingers and contact with it because I knew my hands were sweating and I did not want to wrinkle it. I can feel the heat on my back from what were countless doses of radiation shot at me utilizing a CT-Scanning machine. I tried to clench my throat because I feel like I swallowed a stone, although I know that is not what actually happened. I am trying to keep myself from bursting into tears. I leave... This time there is no applause, but the joy and excitement I feel equates.

I am now a graduate from the California Institute of the Arts I am also a graduate from the UCLA Radiation therapy program. It was an incredibly difficult two years, the most challenging and emotionally, physically and mentally challenging and rewarding. Rewarding.
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LAST LAP 3/10/2014

 

AHHHHHH! My thesis show is over… I’ve crossed the finish line (Well not quite I guess… I still have to graduate). However, I have completed, presented, defended, performed, installed, de-installed my thesis exhibition and I could be happier.

I am incredibly happy because the show was for me, it was for my father and it was a show that encompassed all my beliefs and my interests as an artist. It was something that I was truly invested in, emotionally and intellectually.  Although I know the show was a lot more than that to me, it wasn’t only a thesis project, it was also a gesture I was making to remember my relationship with my father.

In a way it was a very slow and difficult way to say goodbye to many aspects of my life that had begun to slowly shift and change due to the absence of my parental figure and a process that would help me understand and work through all these changes. He has always been one of my strongest pillars and supporters of my artistic practice it was a memorial for him an altar and it was also a catharsis. It was a self-portrait and a portrait of my father constructed through my memories and different aspects of our relationship. It was also a way to make a lasting impression and something important in my life that would help me remember who he was and how much of him continues to live in me and how much he influenced my interests, who I am and what my artistic practice is.

It was also a monument to materialize the moment before something is over, the moment before the checkered flags, the flowers, the ceremonies and the awards.

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